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No Deathbed Conversion For Me

evil beeI've earned my atheist bona fides!

I almost died last weekend. I walked past a nest of very defensive honey bees in my backyard and got stung in the head and neck six times. Within a couple of minutes an allergic reaction was moving into full swing. I managed to get inside and, with my wife's help, eat some Benadryl tablets. She called 911.

In less than five minutes from getting stung I had hives breaking out all over my body. I was shaking and feeling light headed. I had to lay down on my living room floor. Within another minute, the need to vomit hit me. I crawled on all fours to our downstairs bathroom and started wretching - dry heaves. After a minute or two of this I could feel myself loosing consciousness.

The feeling was somewhere between walking down a dark tunnel (No. No light at the end!) and having someone wrap me in a heavy dark blanket. My peripheral vision closed in on me and things got quiet. It was happening. This was it.

" F***! I don't get to say goodbye!"

That was my last thought before losing consciousness. At this point my wife tells me that I slumped to the floor beside the toilet (Nice way to go, huh?!) and started making gurgling sounds.

I woke up to my wife's high pitched screaming. There was a fireman's boot next to my face, and a toilet. With some coaxing I crawled on all fours back to my living room floor and the EMT's took over from there. They got my blood pressure back up by giving me antihistamines, epinephrine, an oxygen mask and some very caring words. An ambulance and the ER were next.

It wasn't until some hours later that I realized that I hadn't asked Jesus for forgiveness. I didn't have any last minute fears about going to hell. I just had a sad feeling that I wouldn't see my wife and kids again. I was sad that I was going in such a sudden and traumatic fashion and they had to watch it happen. These were the thoughts that had rushed through my head in the last few seconds before passing out. Nothing more.

I was raised Catholic. I stopped believing in the bible when I was in third or fourth grade. I became a cultural Catholic and an agnostic after that. But the 2012 presidential elections - and the Republican turds trying to out-Jesus each other - brought the atheist out in me. I've been an out atheist and a very busy secular activist since 2012.

I have my wife, the EMT's, and a number of doctors and nurses to thank for the miracle of reviving me. I also have to thank the medical researchers over the decades who have worked hard to help their fellow man through their understanding of the human body. I also have to thank the godless redditors and other vocal heathens on this planet who helped give me the confidence to definitively move away from superstitious nonsense.

I will relish today and those to come. Thank you!

Reddit contributor tm17.